Maybe it’s time to call it a day. Maybe we have reached a point where there is no common ground between the red states and the blue states. Maybe it’s time for the United States of America to amicably divide itself into two smaller countries. These smaller countries can carve up the “swing” states in the divorce.

For simplicity’s sake and until the citizens of these new countries can vote a new names, I propose America Red (for the red states) and America Blue (for the blue states). (Although America Red might prefer to rename itself “The Holy Land”.)

If living in America Blue means I can have universal health coverage, reasonable regulation of industry, less government intrusion on civil liberties, right of all blacks and all citizens to vote, and respect for all religions by maintaining the separation of church and state, I’m all for it.

I think the citizens of America Red will be happier, too. Well, at least the ones who believe that President-For-Life Bush is a good leader simply because he claims to be a Christian Republican. They can have their imaginary missile defense shield. They can declare themselves a Christian nation, if they can ever agree among the many factions of Christianity just what it means to be a Christian. They can also have Iraq in the divorce. (We should put up a good front, but, in the end, let them think that they swindled it away from us.)

Let’s not kid ourselves that life in America Blue will be idyllic. It will be better than the current mess, but we’ll still have problems. The issue of illegal immigration will be compounded as refugees from America Red join their ranks. Our pharmaceutical supplies will be strained by the re-importation of our cheaper drugs into America Red. Women from America Red will quietly have legal abortions while “vacationing” in our fair land, tapping into our universal healthcare system.

When we joke about “our fascist cousins to the south,” it will be with a nervous chuckle. Since the prevailing mentality of the current United States leadership is to keep down all potential global rivals, how long will it be before the leaders of America Red perceive it’s more successful and generous cousins to the north as a threat? That is the only drawback with the American Red/America Blue two state solution. Sooner or later America Red would attack us on some flimsy pretext (terrorism? communism?) and we’d all be one big unhappy country again.

The conquest of America Blue will either happen right before or right after President-For-Life Bush proclaims himself the Messiah, renames American Red “The Holy Land” and declares 1,000 years of peace while engaged in war throughout the planet.